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Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

Darth Vader seeks revenge by ‘living well’

Lord of the Sith Darth Vader has warned his sworn enemies that he will be unleashing revenge in its most ruthless form, simply by living well. The Dark Emperor threatened a low carb gluten free diet, regular exercise, and a vengeful appetite for Alpen Swiss Style Muesli.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2014
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Stephen Hawking gets Darth Vader voice synthesizer

Stephen Hawking was back in the media spotlight again this week with the announcement that he was getting a new voice synthesizer based on the Star Wars villain Darth Vader.

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Posted: Dec 7th, 2014
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Millennium Falcon subject to safety recall

Spaceship manufacturer Corellian Engineering Corporation have been forced to recall their YT1300 series craft after an owner was injured by a faulty door. The Health & Safety Executive insisted on the measure despite the company protesting the warranty on the Millennium Falcon was invalid due to the ship being used for racing, smuggling and to blow up planet sized Imperial spacestations.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2014
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Nigel Farage rules himself out of new Star Wars movie

Despite ‘not actually’ auditioning for Episode VII, the MEP for South East England has taken pre-emptive steps to obviate any possibility of him starring in the latest Star Wars blockbuster.

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Posted: May 1st, 2014
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Fathers unable to bond with their kids without shared Star Wars knowledge

A study of young parents has revealed that new fathers are unable to relate to their children without a shared knowledge of the Star Wars universe.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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