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Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

Millennium Falcon subject to safety recall

Spaceship manufacturer Corellian Engineering Corporation have been forced to recall their YT1300 series craft after an owner was injured by a faulty door. The Health & Safety Executive insisted on the measure despite the company protesting the warranty on the Millennium Falcon was invalid due to the ship being used for racing, smuggling and to blow up planet sized Imperial spacestations.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2014
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Nigel Farage rules himself out of new Star Wars movie

Despite ‘not actually’ auditioning for Episode VII, the MEP for South East England has taken pre-emptive steps to obviate any possibility of him starring in the latest Star Wars blockbuster.

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Posted: May 1st, 2014
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Lord Vader announces redundancies on Death Star

Head of Human Resources Moff Tarkin confirmed that the redundancies would affect Galactic Stormtroopers, Technical and Support staff and those guys with back to front snow shovels on their heads.

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2013
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Luke Skywalker censures Daily Mail for slur against his father

the farce is strong with this oneThe controversy surrounding the freedom of the press took another sinister turn this morning after a tabloid article suggested that the popularity of yet another much-loved celebrity might have been misplaced, and urged the public to take another good, hard look at his dad.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2013
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Britons have nothing to fear from large floating ‘Death Star’

finds your lack of faith 'disturbing'After reports from a whistle blower about strange things happening in the skies above Britain which has finally led members of the public to look up and say ‘Crikey!’ Foreign Secretary William Hague made it clear today that voters should not be worried by the partially constructed space station increasing in size each night in the sky above Slough.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2013
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