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Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

All good ideas taken claims frustrated screenwriter

‘It’s so frustrating to be watching Indiana Jones knowing that I would have came up with it if George Lucas had just given me the chance,’

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2013
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Evil empire takes over other evil empire in bid to finally crush childhood memories

Under the terms of the invasion, Lucas will retain a consultancy role from his bottle dungeon at Disneyland.

Speaking for about three quarters of an hour too long, the in-house Disneyland torturer said that Mr Lucas was looking forward to the franchise further trampling fans’ sacred memories underfoot.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2012
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Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations

Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a series of marketing campaigns and a special Jedi Tariff that includes 500 Cross Galaxy minutes.

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Posted: May 12th, 2012
More from Science/Technology



Jedis disappointed with new ‘energy-saving’ lightsabers

Leia's comment of 'aren't you a little short for a lightsaber?' really didn't help‘These new lightsabers are rubbish,’ complained Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. ‘They take ages to light up and when they do you can barely see anything with them.’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2012
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Death Star to close this Sunday, confirms Vader

The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2011
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