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Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

Lord Vader announces redundancies on Death Star

Head of Human Resources Moff Tarkin confirmed that the redundancies would affect Galactic Stormtroopers, Technical and Support staff and those guys with back to front snow shovels on their heads.

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2013
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Luke Skywalker censures Daily Mail for slur against his father

the farce is strong with this oneThe controversy surrounding the freedom of the press took another sinister turn this morning after a tabloid article suggested that the popularity of yet another much-loved celebrity might have been misplaced, and urged the public to take another good, hard look at his dad.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2013
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Britons have nothing to fear from large floating ‘Death Star’

finds your lack of faith 'disturbing'After reports from a whistle blower about strange things happening in the skies above Britain which has finally led members of the public to look up and say ‘Crikey!’ Foreign Secretary William Hague made it clear today that voters should not be worried by the partially constructed space station increasing in size each night in the sky above Slough.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2013
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All good ideas taken claims frustrated screenwriter

‘It’s so frustrating to be watching Indiana Jones knowing that I would have came up with it if George Lucas had just given me the chance,’

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2013
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Evil empire takes over other evil empire in bid to finally crush childhood memories

Under the terms of the invasion, Lucas will retain a consultancy role from his bottle dungeon at Disneyland.

Speaking for about three quarters of an hour too long, the in-house Disneyland torturer said that Mr Lucas was looking forward to the franchise further trampling fans’ sacred memories underfoot.

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2012
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