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Posts Tagged ‘student’

Charles to take gap year before succeeding to throne?

As his succession draws nearer, Prince Charles fears that 66 years may not be enough time preparation for being monarch and is considering taking a year of ‘chilling out’ in some far-flung corner of the Empire beforehand, sleeping till midday in a cheap hostel and smoking skunk.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2015
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Students drop out after finding iPads ‘full of academic shit’

‘I thought it was cool when I got an iPad to use at uni,’ said Brad Baker, who is studying English Literature. ‘Then I found out it was full of academic stuff. Sixty-eight gigs of Anglo-Saxon shit really freaked me out. I had to delete Angry Birds and stuff that mattered to make room for it. I’m well-gutted.’

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2013
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Student walkout ‘may precipitate collapse of UK economy’

Wednesday’s planned walkout by tens of thousands of students protesting against government reforms to higher education could lead to the collapse of the UK economy, plunging the country into a 1930′s type depression.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2012
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Heartache for student as grandmother dies again

Tragedy struck second-year undergraduate Harvey Owen today, when his beloved grandmother Ivy again passed away for the fourth time just days before the start of her grandson’s critical end-of-term exams.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2010
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Student stumps world’s greatest minds by adding ‘in YOUR opinion’ to end of every argument

A low, continual thud could still be heard around Cambridge University’s Departments of Mathematics today as eminent intellectuals continued to bang their heads against college walls, reeling from the powerful, seemingly unanswerable argument put forward by a young undergraduate.

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Posted: Nov 13th, 2008
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