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Posts Tagged ‘students’

Cameron to fight radicalisation with £53,000 student debt promise

David Cameron has pledged to tackle radical extremism amongst young Muslims by telling them that a place at a top UK university would only cost them £53,000 each.

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Posted: Jul 22nd, 2015
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Students ‘ecstatic’ to be returning to parents’ homes

and booze is even cheaper than in the union barThe nation’s university students are said to be ‘overjoyed’ to have escaped the oppression and abject tedium of government-funded piss-ups and sexual exploration and returned home to the exciting, argument-free households of their parents for the festive season.

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Posted: Dec 17th, 2014
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Worrying report shows most twentysomethings ‘still not feeling Christmassy’

A report by the Department of Health has concluded that the majority of people in their mid-twenties are still not feeling the magic of the festive season despite the worrying proximity to Christmas Day.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2013
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Prince Philip ‘showing worrying signs of being back on good form’

‘Unfortunately,’ said psychiatrist Dr Karen Young, ‘the Duke seems to be back to that previous period of robust form when, during a state visit to China, he told a group of British students: ‘If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed’; or when he told a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea:’You managed not to get eaten,then?’

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2013
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Burglars call for cuts in tuition fees as student numbers fall

will pay it all back when they start earning £20k a year‘With student houses you have at least four sets of laptops, iPhones and a fair bit of ready cash in each house, protected only by a front door that they’re probably too stoned to lock,’ said a spokesburglar. ‘If there aren’t any students, how are we going to make an honest living?’

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Posted: Sep 16th, 2012
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