‘Every year it’s the same. Two of them do really well and say, ‘Oh my God! Oh my God! I can’t believe it,’ while the other one looks a bit disappointed but puts on a brave face for the cameras.’
Posted: Aug 19th, 2010
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An undergraduate who mistook his university’s library for a bar is being offered counselling to help him recover from the trauma.
Posted: Jul 23rd, 2010
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Five female students are undergoing tests in a Coventry hospital today after they repeatedly failed to screech like harpies on their way home from the pub. ‘I couldn’t believe I wasn’t being kept awake by the noise of screaming girls,’ said local resident, Mr Harold Bream, ‘I immediately knew something must be wrong, so I rang the police.’
Posted: Jun 4th, 2010
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After a school career that saw him battling with dementors, basilisks and death-eaters, boy wizard Harry Potter has confessed that he is struggling to get to grips with his undergraduate degree in Business IT at Lampeter. ‘It’s just all a bit of an anti-climax,’ said Potter, who found a place at the Welsh university through clearing after UCAS refused to acknowledge his Defence Against Dark Arts O.W.L.
Posted: Oct 15th, 2009
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A group of teenagers shocked locals by going straight home after taking their final exams in Bedfordshire today. Residents looked on in horror as the group walked quietly through the streets in ones or twos, leaving enough room on the pavement for people to pass them by without having to step into the road, before dispersing to their homes.
Posted: Jul 1st, 2009
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