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Posts Tagged ‘students’

Five female students hospitalised after non-screeching incident

Five female students are undergoing tests in a Coventry hospital today after they repeatedly failed to screech like harpies on their way home from the pub. ‘I couldn’t believe I wasn’t being kept awake by the noise of screaming girls,’ said local resident, Mr Harold Bream, ‘I immediately knew something must be wrong, so I rang the police.’

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2010
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Harry Potter admits Lampeter University ‘a bit of a let-down’ after Hogwarts

just scraped in through the clearing systemFound a place at the Welsh university through clearing after UCAS refused to acknowledge his Defence Against Dark Arts O.W.L.

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2009
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Teenagers go straight home after taking final exams

A group of teenagers shocked locals by going straight home after taking their final exams in Bedfordshire today. Residents looked on in horror as the group walked quietly through the streets in ones or twos, leaving enough room on the pavement for people to pass them by without having to step into the road, before dispersing to their homes.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2009
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Government to publish league tables on ‘hardest’ schools

School gang‘Often the highest GCSE results come from boys who are soft as shite.’

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2006
More from Education