Scientists from Cambridge University have confirmed that it is way too hot at the moment. “We ran a number of very complicated scientific tests and the results show that it is definitely too hot.” said the lead researcher, [read...]
A royal insider requesting anonymity told reporters: ‘His Royal Highness thought that it was some kind of a local custom, you know, like Aboriginal bare-arsed dancing or something, so not to be rude he had a toke before offering it to Meghan. [read...]
Health and safety bosses have blamed tabloids for the epidemic of outdoor frying in traffic gridlock, with cases reported of full English breakfasts sizzling on Toyota bonnets. “Papers like the Sun keep telling people it’s hot enough to fry an egg on a car”, [read...]
The song ‘Despacito’ is about fat British men abroad with incredibly bad sunburn. Last week’s UK number one, which has topped the charts in Spain and across Latin-America, is an ode to balding Brits who refuse to use sun cream in 40 degree heat and wear Reebok Classic trainers with white socks on the beach…. [read...]
Want to look like you’ve been broiling on a beach in Magaluf but can’t be bothered to collect the newspaper coupons? Try new spray-on SunBurn from L’Oréal? [read...]
