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Posts Tagged ‘Sunday’

DIY worshippers demand closure of churches on Sunday

Worshippers of the gods of tinkering, pottering and fixing up have pledged to oppose moves to extend church opening times, and to defend Sundays as a ‘designated day for hardware-based activities.’

Rev Stephen ‘Bodger’ Davis of the Church of the Holy Dremmel, said: ‘Sunday are sacred to us. There’s plenty of time throughout the week to pray to Christ and sing hymns – no-one needs an extra half day. We accept that not everyone goes to the hardware store week in, week out, but we have to remember that this is still a DIY-worshipping nation. Unless our traditions are maintained, children will soon have no idea what decking was or why the Ground Force Trinity were so important.’

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2015
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Retailers prepare for ‘Fuck It, This’ll Do Wednesday’

Following today, Desperation Sunday, Manic Monday and Breakdown Tuesday will take place before the final day of trading reserved for the ultimate late shoppers.

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2014
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Fears that Sunday opening may raise customer hopes about banking service

‘It’s a very worrying development,’ said a NatWest spokeswoman. ‘Some customers may have got the wrong idea about Sunday’s opening and think we are about to start responding to customer needs which, of course, is simply out of the question.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2012
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