Fortyman, so named because of his fearless ability to drive his 2-litre Rover Coupe at 40 miles per hour regardless of traffic, speed limits or road conditions, gained a wide following for his carefree disregard for authority and his own safety. Translated into German, Vierundsechzigkilometerprostundemann became a rallying figure for opponents of the Nazi regime later in the decade.

Fortyman’s ability to drive everywhere at unthinkable speeds averted many a potential disaster and saved countless damsels in distress. There was never any violence, just a cheery, ‘Hope I didn’t keep you waiting,’ on arrival at the scene, followed by his catch phrase, ‘Hop in, love,’ before he double-declutched his way into the sunset.

Sadly, as roads and cars improved in the post war years and road safety became a major issue, Fortyman’s popularity slowly waned, and his last adventure, Exeter Bypass, was published in 1963. His creators tried to update the character, for example by allowing him to speed up on motorways, and appear ‘virtually half-naked’ without driving gloves, but these innovations came too late.

Despite his demise, his legion of fans continued to wear the costume and drive their Rovers, and latterly Hondas, everywhere at a strict 40 mph, whether on fast roads or in congested urban areas, and many can still be found throughout Britain today. While other drivers find such behaviour infuriating, devotees remain unaware of a problem, largely because they share Fortyman’s disdain for using mirrors.

When one adherent was challenged recently, he said, ‘The blighters will have to catch me first!’ before driving over a busy pedestrian crossing and going the wrong way down a slip road at forty to make good his escape with a cheery beep of his horn.

Colleagues at the Daily Planet were reportedly stunned as Kent arrived for work bereft of his cunning disguise and trying to hide his features behind a newspaper. ‘It was suddenly obvious,’ stated fellow reporter Lois Lane, ‘I looked up from my morning coffee and there was Superman, doing the crossword at Clark’s desk!’ I don’t know why the citizens of Metropolis hadn’t noticed before to be honest.’

Superman’s arch-nemesis Lex Luthor has also expressed surprise at the revelation but believes that, in hindsight, the clues were there. ‘I thought it was a bit odd last week when, during a battle against my henchmen, he suddenly stopped blasting us with his heat ray and started blinking rapidly, muttering ‘It’s either fallen out or the bloody thing’s melted again.’ Next minute he’s on his hands and knees yelling ‘nobody move or you’ll step on it’.’

Kent’s exposure as Superman is the latest in a rash of superhero unmaskings, following hot on the heels of revelations regarding the caped crusader Batman. Billionaire playboy, industrialist, and philanthropist Bruce Wayne was named as Gotham City’s dark knight after a receipt for the Batmobile’s MOT and a bill for the Artexing of the Bat-cave’s ceiling were found in the bins behind Wayne’s Gotham City mansion. Ironically the discovery was made by reporter Clerk Kent, who was writing an article on the importance of shredding documents as a way of avoiding identity theft in the wake of the government’s new superhuman DNA database and ID card scheme. This article is still available on the Daily Planet website, complete with upside-down pictures by photographer Peter Parker.

jp1885 (thanks to Genghis and Mary Evans)

After years of terrorising Spiderman’s family and loved ones by thinking up ever-more ingenious ways to defeat him, the Green Goblin finally just left out giant bath tub. When he woke in the morning, he found the arachnid superhero floundering around in the bottom.

Spiderman was visibly exhausted as he had struggled throughout the night to climb up the ceramic sides of the bath only to slide back down again. The alarm was raised when a seven year old girl was heard screaming that there was ‘a great big spiderman in the bath’. Spiderman nearly drowned after she ran the cold tap for ages in the hope of flushing him away, only to be even more horrified to see him floundering around in the water.

It’s an ignominious end for the action hero who had foiled the Green Goblin’s attempts at world domination on countless occasions. New York chief of police expressed his sadness to this set back in the fight against crime; ‘What can you say about Spiderman? He does whatever a spider can. Unfortunately that does not include getting out of the bath.’ The Green Goblin was last seen flying off to get a sixteen foot tall glass and a twenty foot square piece of card to dispose of Spiderman once and for all.

It is widely being seen as the greatest humiliation for an action superhero since the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were incapacitated by flipping them onto their backs.

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