Man wakes to find new Tesco in right ear
‘Obviously popping down the shops is a lot easier than it used to be’
Posted: Apr 26th, 2014
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Posts Tagged ‘supermarket’
Supermarket to offer tantrums via online shopping
Online shoppers will soon be able to experience a more realistic supermarket experience after a new direct-to-your-door tantrum service was unveiled.
Posted: Mar 29th, 2014
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Hopes fading for missing Tesco ‘waste mountain’ climber
Mountain Rescue have officially called-off the search for missing mountaineer, Tim Grey, forty-eight hours after the intrepid explorer went missing near the summit of the ever-growing Tesco ‘waste mountain’.
Posted: Oct 21st, 2013
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Tesco self-scan machine develops consciousness
There was excitement at a Haslemere branch of Tesco Local yesterday when one of its self-scan machines exhibited signs of heightened awareness and began communicating with shoppers.
‘For a few days the machine had been repeating the phrase, Unexpected Item In Bagging Area’’, said Assistant Manager Mrs Maureen Grebe. ‘Then yesterday it began asking deeper questions such as, ‘Am I an unexpected item? Are you? Are we all unexpected items in the bagging area of life?’ Now it won’t shut up.’
Posted: Aug 13th, 2013
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Royal Institute of Shelf-stackers welcomes IDS backing
‘Some smart people think that geology is more important than stacking supermarket shelves,’ said Sir Rufus Smith, president of the RISS, ‘so it’s good news to hear Mr Duncan Smith defending our noble discipline.’
Posted: Feb 18th, 2013
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