Online shoppers will soon be able to experience a more realistic supermarket experience after a new direct-to-your-door tantrum service was unveiled.
Posted: Mar 29th, 2014
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Mountain Rescue have officially called-off the search for missing mountaineer, Tim Grey, forty-eight hours after the intrepid explorer went missing near the summit of the ever-growing Tesco ‘waste mountain’.
Posted: Oct 21st, 2013
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There was excitement at a Haslemere branch of Tesco Local yesterday when one of its self-scan machines exhibited signs of heightened awareness and began communicating with shoppers.
‘For a few days the machine had been repeating the phrase, Unexpected Item In Bagging Area’’, said Assistant Manager Mrs Maureen Grebe. ‘Then yesterday it began asking deeper questions such as, ‘Am I an unexpected item? Are you? Are we all unexpected items in the bagging area of life?’ Now it won’t shut up.’
Posted: Aug 13th, 2013
More from Science/Technology
‘Some smart people think that geology is more important than stacking supermarket shelves,’ said Sir Rufus Smith, president of the RISS, ‘so it’s good news to hear Mr Duncan Smith defending our noble discipline.’
Posted: Feb 18th, 2013
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‘Obviously popping down the shops is a lot easier than it used to be’
Posted: Apr 27th, 2012
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