“I’ve an inflatable canoe, six trumpets and a compressed air powered screwdriver.”, said Richard Head of Clacton, “And, to be honest, I’ve struggled a bit to find a use for them…” [read...]
Supermarkets across the UK say they are running dangerously low on all food supplies although nearly all stocks of porridge remain unaffected. They say all fresh, frozen and tinned produce are now gone and there are just a handful of dried pulses still remaining. [read...]
During an ad-break while watching the movie ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ – televised for the sixty-seventh time this month – it was revealed to Jesus Christ that when it comes to the modern-day Christmas, “Morrisons makes it”, [read...]
Staff at the Department for Exiting the EU are reported to be hungry and irritable as the staff member sent to Tesco to get lunch still hasn’t returned after three months, being embroiled in complex negotiations with the automated checkout. [read...]
Supermarket checkout workers have urged shoppers to stop using bags for life from other stores as they find it too upsetting. Susan Robertson, who has worked at Asda for more than ten years, said she had been reduced to tears at seeing Sainsbury’s and Morrisons bags used at her till. [read...]
