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Posts Tagged ‘supermarkets’

Village to close after contributing nothing to local Tesco

‘It’s no good being sentimental about these things.’

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Posted: Dec 28th, 2013
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Demise of village store ‘a tragedy’, says man who shops at Tesco

‘I drove past it every couple of days on my way to Tesco. It always looked so attractive with its rustic window display and traditional outside stall – I’ll really miss it.’

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Posted: Jul 30th, 2013
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Supermarkets to hide everything under the counter in new public health drive

heading off arterio-sclerosis and 'time-bomb' flatulenceThe Department of Health said the move was in response to evidence that everything promoted and sold in supermarkets can encourage adults and young people to lead unhealthy lifestyles.

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Posted: Dec 27th, 2012
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Supermarkets on the offensive as ‘BOGOF’ becomes ‘POOFACE’

Britain’s supermarkets, recognising that referring to ‘Buy One Get One Free’ as ‘BOGOF’ has seen the term enter into everyday parlance, are reportedly ‘going on the offensive’ to find new, catchy ways of insulting their customers.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2012
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Royal Jubilee engagements causing backlog of unopened supermarkets

Supermarket giants including Tesco and Sainsbury’s have led angry calls for the Royal Family to ‘stop fannying about for the Jubilee’ after news emerged that forty fully-stocked supermarkets have been left unopened for months.

‘We’ve been continuing to expand our operations across the United Kingdom,’ said Tesco chief executive Philip Clarke. ‘But since this Diamond Jubilee nonsense started, we’ve been left with 17 stores ready to go but unopened because the Royals are all booked up reading the weather or dancing with Usain Bolt in Jamaica or sailing down the bloody Thames.’

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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