The NHS is seeking to reclaim £10m worth of cutting-edge surgical equipment, inadvertently left behind by surgeons as they sewed-up patients in the operating theatre.
Posted: May 10th, 2013
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The milestone was reached last Tuesday when pensioner Stan Mills died of thirst three days after vigilant carers moved his flower vase just out of reach. Mills had spent nearly a week occupying a bed desperately needed for other patients who were clamouring to die of severe neglect.
Posted: Feb 10th, 2013
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A woman left disfigured by a violent chimp unveiled her new face last night. Keen to avoid any future attacks, doctors have replaced her face with one from a much more intimidating primate.
Posted: Aug 12th, 2011
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‘Sometimes when people ring up she pretends to be a mini-cab company in Bromsgrove’
Posted: Oct 17th, 2008
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Cheaper and simpler just to swap the patient with a newer, healthier individual.
Posted: Oct 1st, 2007
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