With parks and open spaces threatened with closure or now out of bounds to humans for the foreseeable future, Britain’s ducks have made a heartfelt plea to stave off starvation. Spokesmallard Bill Drake of Regent’s Park said: ‘First we had Brexit and no more stale baguettes. [read...]
The Sussexes have been told that they must relinquish their HRH titles, their season tickets to Crawley Town FC and any duty-frees from last two years. They can no longer partake of swan meat, panda cutlets or nibble on the ear of Nicholas Witchell. [read...]
Palace officials and conservationists are poring over radical proposals to allow swans to eat the Queens subjects for the first time since the Act of Swans in 1482.
The swans of the river Itchen recently brought a class action against a prominent sandal-wearing vegan known only as ‘Dick’ [read...]