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Posts Tagged ‘swimming pools’

Petting, bombing and diving to be legalised by UKIP

In an attempt to broaden the appeal of their manifesto, UKIP are set to legalise petting in public swimming baths. Other policy initiatives include an amnesty on library book fines and a very slight reduction in the cost of the TV licence.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2015
More from Politics

Smoking lobby speaks out against swimming pool pissing ban

not many pleasures left in lifeThe tobacco industry objects to the further infringement of civil liberties by the requirement that all urinators leave swimming pools if they want to enjoy a piss.

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2010
More from Health

Paedos ban at swimming pool ‘a mistake’, say council

Paedophiles who were banned from a public pool in Suffolk have received an apology after officials admitted they mistook the sexual predators for a popular brand of very brief swimming trunks.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2009
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