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Posts Tagged ‘Swine Flu’

Experts still undecided on this year’s health scare

best to hide until whatever it is goes awayThe World Health Organisation has called together the planet’s leading medical scientists for a crisis conference, after admitting that they had yet to agree upon this year’s global health scare.

‘We may have a disaster on our hands.’ confessed Dr Paul Nunn of the WHO, writing in The Lancet. ‘The world could be without a major epidemic to fret about next winter. That would be unthinkable, leaving most of us with no media interviews, lucrative consultancies or entertainment from drug companies. We simply can‘t let that happen and we must protect ourselves, and, er, the population as a whole from the dire consequences.’

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Posted: May 21st, 2010
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Fear of Brummie epidemic as accent spreads beyond city boundaries

Concern is growing that Brummie is spreading much faster than originally estimated and colonising many of the dialects that once distinguished surrounding towns and rural districts.

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Posted: Jan 5th, 2010
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Britain’s gloomiest man says he’s had enough of 2010

Britain’s gloomiest man has described 2010 as his ‘annus horribilis’, although confidently predicts 2011 will probably be worse.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2010
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Cure for Swine Flu found scribbled on pencil case

A medical researcher has been hailed as a modern-day Louis Pasteur after inadvertently discovering a cure for Swine Flu on a battered schoolboy’s pencil case at a car boot sale.

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2009
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Official WHO Swine Flu Pandemic launch ‘most spectacular yet’

a 'truly exceptional' outbreakThe global swine Flu pandemic was officially launched in Sydney today to an estimated global audience of 3 billion. Critics hailed the spectacular as ‘the most impressive pandemic launch yet’, by general consent eclipsing the event at the Bird Flu stadium in Beijing two years ago.

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2009
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