Officials at the World Health Organisation have apologised after a technician accidentally turned up the swine flu alert level to 7.5, killing 90 million people in the process. The incident happened on Sunday, when two IT engineers undertook essential maintainance; one of the men ‘noticed that the dial went up to 11, and wondered what would happen if they cranked it up a bit.’
Posted: Jun 8th, 2009
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While contamination with Max Clifford appears to be generally unpleasant and seedy with no known cure, it hasn’t proved fatal. Yet.
Posted: May 2nd, 2009
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Scientists have put down the rapid spread of Swine Flu to the millions of people watching an infected YouTube clip of Britain’s Got Talent contestant Susan Boyle. The announcement was made in the British Medical Journal after days of intensive analysis of the new strain of influenza and the behaviour patterns of those who had caught it.
Posted: May 2nd, 2009
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In a leaked letter to Christopher Robin, he admits to being ‘saddened…that things haven’t been too good recently in [the] Wood’.
Posted: May 1st, 2009
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Scientists have confirmed that Scare Flu has now spread from the red top newspapers to the so-called ‘quality press’ which was thought to be more resistant to alarmist scare stories. Doctors have warned that the ongoing outbreak of stories in the media about Scare Flu has now reached pandemic proportions. Fears are growing that the lethal infection may spread throughout the country, potentially causing mass panic on a scale not seen since a Scottish swan was supposed to have died from Bird Flu.
Posted: Apr 29th, 2009
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