While five new sports, including ‘Sepp Blatter Accounting’, are set to be added to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics, impoverished activities like ‘ultra-privation’ or ‘uber-penury’ are unlikely to make the cut. In fact, according to the World Bank, [read...]
With barely 10,000 refugees arriving at the Hungarian border in the last few days, many in the EU were starting to panic that we might run out of dispossessed masses, reasons to vote UKIP or emotive photographs of a child’s abandoned shoe. [read...]
Hardworking and shell-shocked Syrians, who were hoping for a well-earned break from chemical weapons, can no longer rely on Iran as a bomb-free destination. Holiday firms are advising customers, that the only people visiting Tehran this year will be the 35th Infantry Division from Fort Leavenworth. [read...]
On the day the BBC revealed that it was scrapping the flagship show for geeky, nerds who never leave the house, Robot Wars, Boris Johnson has told the Andrew Marr Programme that the government intends to use the House Robots to fight the enemy in Syria. [read...]
‘We have strong suspicions that the truck wasn’t taxed,’ said an aerial reconnaissance expert, ‘or maybe the owner removed the tax disc a day early. Either way, it certainly didn’t look roadworthy, and almost certainly wouldn’t have passed its MOT had it not been destroyed. [read...]
