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Posts Tagged ‘Syria’

RAF pounds pick up truck into the ground

and if it's being driven with italic number plates, there'll be hell to payIn wave after wave of laser targeted weaponry the RAF have decisively destroyed a pickup truck yesterday.

‘We have strong suspicions that the truck wasn’t taxed,’ said an aerial reconnaissance expert, ‘or maybe the owner removed the tax disc a day early. Either way, it certainly didn’t look roadworthy, and almost certainly wouldn’t have passed its MOT had it not been destroyed.’ It is an operational objective of the Allies to remove all Islamic State vehicles that are not safe, taxed and suitably insured. ‘We’re cracking down on the illegal use of red diesel, too,’ said one of the operational commanders.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2014
More from World News



Flea infestation ‘not solved’ by blowing up house

Residents at a street in Birmingham were ‘slightly surprised’ to find that the Council had ordered an RAF airstrike to deal with a ‘modest’ pest problem.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2014
More from News In Brief



$1bn to fight Ebola, if Ebola agrees to be a bit more ‘Islamist-y’‏

a threat to world stability even worse than Nouri Al-MalikiPresident Obama has offered to send 3,000 American troops to Liberia to help fight the virus outbreak, on the proviso that Ebola adopts a more Jihadist approach. In turn the US industrial arms complex has said it has billions of dollars worth of weaponry waiting to be sold the moment Ebola declares a fundamentalist Islamic state, grows a beard or ‘discovers oil’.

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Posted: Sep 19th, 2014
More from Health



Britain’s last soldier votes not to go to Syria

can't be arsedThe vote in the House of Commons dismissing even the principle of going to war in Syria has been ratified today by Britain’s last remaining soldier, Barry.

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Posted: Sep 5th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Poshmerga forces take Harrogate. Declare balsamic law.

After a day of heavy fighting, the new middle-class terror group has proclaimed itself ruler of Harrogate, Ripon and Knaresborough. A ‘Poshmerga’ spokesperson, identified only as ‘Debbie from Marketing’ said they were now consolidating their position, but a column of Range Rovers was observed this afternoon, headed towards Skipton.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
More from News In Brief