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Posts Tagged ‘Syria’

Sponsored ad on Google asks Downing Street researcher if he ‘Wants to buy ‘Reasons to bomb Syria’?’

A frantic Downing Street researcher was presented with a series of critical on-screen questions last night as he conducted in depth research among all the intelligence resources available to him on the crisis in Syria.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2013
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UK hesitates after evidence reveals al-Assad is probably a meerkat

Sergei? Or Aleksandr?There was disarray in the UK Parliament last night on the question of whether or not to intervene in Syria as evidence emerged that President Bashar Al-Assad may actually be a meerkat.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2013
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Fans want Hans Blix to tour ‘one last time’

An online campaign has begun to persuade the once great ‘weapons inspector’ and hugely talented musician, Hans Blix, to return for a final, farewell gig in Syria.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2013
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Assad condemns fitness levels after ‘sudden outbreak of asthma’ among Syrians

a massive bombardment of salbutamol should sort itSyrian President Bashar al-Assad has told the world’s media that he ‘will not rest’ until residents of Damascus commit to the sort of physical exercise regime that would prevent them succumbing to the sudden bouts of asthma captured on news footage last week.

‘I am sure the whole world will join me in condemning the irresponsible lifestyle choices of my subjects,’ said President Assad today. ‘Gasping for breath, clawing at your face, even suddenly falling down and dying – any doctor will tell you that this is the fate that befalls you if you don’t partake in regular aerobic exercise. It is a sobering lesson for Syria, but we will learn from it and move on.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
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Obama lists further coloured lines the Syrians must not cross

Following his administration’s assessment that Syria’s government has almost certainly used chemical weapons and so crossed the ‘red line’ President Obama set out last year, the White house has today announced a series of new lines in different colours and urged Syria not to cross them either.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
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