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Posts Tagged ‘tabloids’

Tabloids produce something more distasteful than a Diana plate

Daily Express readers were flocking to their phones this morning to place a deposit on a newly minted Royal Worcester set of chinaware – featuring the short, tragic but impactful life of a deceased refugee ‘of your choice’. The centrepiece of the collection is a gravy boat depicting a body strewn Turkish beach; which guarantees to transform the tone of your after-dinner tete a tete from abhorrence of scrounging migrants to the economic possibilities afforded by refugees.

‘Ever since these powerful images appeared, we have been inundated with requests to do something that will never be forgotten, preferably unsavoury…’

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2015
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Tabloids schedule destruction of Gareth Bale for mid-March

won't be long now.. Do something ghastly, damn you

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2015
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Scare Flu spreads from tabloids to the broadsheets

probably caught it from contact with the tabloids The lethal infection may cause mass panic on a scale not seen since a Scottish swan was supposed to have died from Bird Flu.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2014
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Newspaper hacks celebrate ‘prettiest A level students ever’

‘In our day it was much more difficult to track down an attractive 18-year-old girl with good exam results to stick on the front page.’

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2014
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Vampires lap-up Miller blood but remain unquenched

As the final succulent drops of Maria Miller’s blood dripped from the salivating mouths of tabloid editors, staff from The Sun, Express and Daily Mail turned their lustful gaze towards their next victim.

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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