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Posts Tagged ‘Taliban’

Malala ‘a saddo loser’ say British schoolkids

'she actually WANTS to go to school!'Schoolchildren up and down Britain are still struggling to come to terms with the acclaim accorded to Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani school pupil and activist blogger who was shot in the head by the Taliban in 2011 for campaigning for girls’ education rights. They have unanimously agreed that her conduct is ‘well rank’ and that she should have been grateful not to have to sit through double Maths every Tuesday morning.

Malala’s courage and determination has earned her acclaim all over the world. Since her miraculous survival, she has been instrumental in the ratification of Pakistan’s first Right to Education Bill, was named one of Time Magazine’s ’100 Most Influential People in the World’ and was nominated for the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize among many other things. However, British teenagers have dismissed all this as ‘totally gay’.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2013
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Britain an also-ran in World Bigotry Games

Despite some early promise from UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom on Bongo Bongo land, Britain was comprehensively defeated by host nation Russia’s new swathe of anti-gay laws.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2013
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‘Teachers to troops’ initiative rejected by armed forces

Government plans to fast track teachers into the armed forces have been attacked by military leaders as ‘Short sighted and dangerous.’

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2013
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Pakistan Taliban elect next deputy to be blown up in a drone attack

After the death of Wali-ur-Rehman, the Pakistan Taliban have selected Khan Said as next in line to be blown up in a US drone attack.

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Posted: May 31st, 2013
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Prince Harry had three confirmed ‘kills’ in Vegas

Game over!Prince Harry has admitted in an interview that his training as an Apache helicopter pilot and gunner was invaluable when it came to disposing of three dead hookers in Las Vegas.

Discussing the many benefits of life in uniform, Captain Wales admits that while his chums panicked, he remained level-headed, took out his service pistol and calmly ‘took care of business’.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2013
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