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Posts Tagged ‘TB’

DEFRA fancies ‘one last fling’ at culling badgers

Disturbing reports are emerging that some staff within the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs have a growing desire to go out and kill more badgers. ‘To be honest, we’re not all that bothered about the TB. It’s just embarrassing, feeling that they defeated us,’ said a masked DEFRA spokesman.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2014
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Government entrusts cat cull to schoolboys

Licensed schoolboys across the country have been brought in to help stem the spread of cat to human TB the Government have announced.

Under plans unveiled at a packed news conference the cull of cats will take place between the hours of after school and bed time in three pilot areas.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2014
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Scared Wombles ‘vow to defend themselves’ following TB outbreak in SW19

Reports linking a possible TB outbreak on Wimbledon Common to the activity of Wombles have been described as ‘malicious and untrue’ by their leader, Great Uncle Bulgaria. Fearing reprisals, he insisted the group would defend themselves, making very good use of the things that they’ve found, including several handguns and a batch of AK47s that were discovered under the bushes.

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2013
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Plan to train badgers to cull themselves

The Government is considering a plan proposed by the MOD to train badgers to replace marksman by 2015. ‘We are confident that local badgers are in the best position to spot sufferers of TB and to shoot them’, explained a spokesman.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2012
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Badger militia group claims third victim

The war against badgers took a backward step today as the Badger Rights Alliance (BRA) claimed it’s 3rd victim in as many weeks. Clive Wormley a 48 year old cattle farmer from Staffordshire was killed by a roadside badger while taking his herd to the dairy for milking at 5:30am today.

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Posted: Dec 21st, 2011
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