In a move bound to endear him to his legion of followers, Mitt Romney has finally revealed the recipe for his home-cooked crystal meth. ‘Everywhere I travel, people have asked about my krank,’ revealed Romney. ‘I find it helps me pretend to be excited about the issues I need to endorse to get elected.’
Posted: Sep 5th, 2012
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‘What we need is a President who has a clear vision for our nation. And that is what I offer the people of…, the people of… Oh boy, just give me a minute, will you?’
Posted: Nov 28th, 2011
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Following controversial remarks that the recent earthquake and storm on America’s east coast were a sign of God’s wrath, Michele Bachmann today declared that her own candidacy for the Republican presidential ticket in 2012 is the surest sign yet that the end times must be near.
Posted: Aug 31st, 2011
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Edna Mae Sutcliffe of Kentucky was asked to leave the ‘Americans for a More American America’ Tea Party rally yesterday for drawing what organizers called a ‘flattering’ moustache on her Obama picket sign. ‘How hard is it to draw a ‘Hitler’?’ fumed rally organizer Mabry Townes. ‘It’s the easiest thing in the world to draw; it’s basically just a smudge. What was she thinking? Did Tom Selleck lead the Third Reich?’
Posted: Apr 19th, 2011
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Voters in Wonderland have elected a series of right-wing Tea Party candidates, including the Mad Hatter, the March hare and the dormouse, to Congress in the country’s mid-term elections.
Posted: Nov 3rd, 2010
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