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Posts Tagged ‘teachers’

Teachers remembering how much they love teaching

no more detention for at least six weeksAs their second week of holiday looms, ink stains fade and the Prozac leaves their system, most teachers are reminded just how rewarding their job is if only they could phase out their students. As one relaxing classroom assistant commented: ‘It’s not that I hate the children, I ‘m just saying its nice to be without my nervous twitch, sense of impending doom and the irrational desire to adopt the foetal position every time I see hear a school bell’.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2014
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Britain to swap creepy PE teachers with China

As part of an exchange programme, Shanghai has agreed to import 60 British PE teachers in exchange for 60 of its finest Maths specialists. The Department for Education sees this as a golden opportunity to raise skill levels and teach China some new things.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2014
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Labour to introduce breakdown cover for teachers

Under a Labour government teachers would be required to take out annual breakdown cover in order to work in English state schools, announced Shadow education secretary Tristram Hunt yesterday.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2014
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GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games

streaming at its bestAmidst concerns over failing educational standards, it was announced today that the GCSE is to be replaced by a Hunger Games-style contest, in which 16-year-olds will exchange statutory secondary school qualifications for a gladiatorial fight to the death. It is hoped that the new measures will not only improve unemployment statistics in the 16+ demographic, but also combat teenage obesity, pregnancy and undue dependence on Candy Crush Saga.

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2013
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Training for teachers and social workers to include hand-wringing

‘It is important for the public to know that when something goes terribly wrong and an innocent child is murdered, the teachers and social workers involved feel sad about it.’

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2013
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