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GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games
‘For too long, we have allowed young people to leave school without a basic grasp of mental arithmetic, grammar or machetes’. [read...]
Tagged teachers
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PE teacher genome sequenced; possible cure ‘within 5 years’
Scientists have announced that PE teachers could be identified in the womb using a new DNA test. The breakthrough follows the complete sequencing of the ‘PE teacher genome’, which is a 98% match with human DNA. [read...]
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Britain to swap creepy PE teachers with China
As part of an exchange programme, Shanghai has agreed to import 60 British PE teachers in exchange for 60 of its finest Maths specialists. The Department for Education sees this as a golden opportunity to raise skill levels and teach China some new things. [read...]
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Labour to introduce breakdown cover for teachers
Under a Labour government teachers would be required to take out annual breakdown cover in order to work in English state schools, announced Shadow education secretary Tristram Hunt yesterday. [read...]
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Training for teachers and social workers to include hand-wringing
‘It is important for the public to know that when something goes terribly wrong and an innocent child is murdered, the teachers and social workers involved feel sad about it.’ [read...]