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Teaching of foreign languages to be replaced by ‘talking very slowly’ lessons
Children will be able to take advanced modules in ‘Nodding Condescendingly’ and ‘Swearing in Exasperation’. [read...]
Tagged teachers
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Teachers remembering how much they love teaching
As their second week of holiday looms, ink stains fade and the Prozac leaves their system, most teachers are reminded just how rewarding their job is if only they could phase out their students. [read...]
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Government favours unqualified stab victims
The Department for Education has questioned the profitability of using teachers as student ‘pin cushions’, when Academies and unqualified staff can offer much better value for money. As West Yorkshire experiences its second stabbing incident by a pupil in as many years, [read...]
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GCSEs to be replaced by Hunger Games
‘For too long, we have allowed young people to leave school without a basic grasp of mental arithmetic, grammar or machetes’. [read...]
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PE teacher genome sequenced; possible cure ‘within 5 years’
Scientists have announced that PE teachers could be identified in the womb using a new DNA test. The breakthrough follows the complete sequencing of the ‘PE teacher genome’, which is a 98% match with human DNA. [read...]