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Posts Tagged ‘teaching’

Teachers remembering how much they love teaching

no more detention for at least six weeksAs their second week of holiday looms, ink stains fade and the Prozac leaves their system, most teachers are reminded just how rewarding their job is if only they could phase out their students. As one relaxing classroom assistant commented: ‘It’s not that I hate the children, I ‘m just saying its nice to be without my nervous twitch, sense of impending doom and the irrational desire to adopt the foetal position every time I see hear a school bell’.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2014
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Social workers to be fast-tracked to a nervous breakdown

best to get it over with quickly, says governmentAfter a five-week ‘taster course’, the students will be air-dropped, naked, into the most challenging urban areas in the country, including Stoke-on-Trent and Wigan.

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
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Michael Gove unveils revisionist history syllabus featuring “World War Fun!”

Your country needs ME!Education Secretary Michael Gove has announced changes to the history GCSE syllabus that will reflect ‘a more accurate and balanced’ view of World War One as a bit of jolly fun instead of a four-year cataclysmic bloodbath that drained the nation’s power and prestige and caused untold mental and physical suffering to millions.

The traditional view of the so-called ‘Great War’ as four years of futile barbaric slaughter is wrong, says Gove. ‘Historicans and commentators have long been calling for a “debunking” of wartime myths,’ he insisted. ‘At least, the ones I’ve been paying to advise me have. And that’s enough.’

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2014
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UK schools to revert to Roman numerals, announces Gove

In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.

The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Teaching of foreign languages to be replaced by ‘talking very slowly’ lessons

'Six conjugations for one verb? I think not.'Children will be able to take advanced modules in ‘Nodding Condescendingly’ and ‘Swearing in Exasperation’.

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Posted: May 5th, 2010
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