‘I went in there once to buy a hammer and some nails and tried to pay by credit card. All he did was stare and look befuddled. Then he asked me, ‘What witchcraft is this?”
Posted: Sep 20th, 2012
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Amish leaders are locked in vigorous debate after a member of their community accidentally reinvented the jet engine. Hand-woven and finished off with a short length of ribbon, the three-stage corn doll can produce 45,000 pounds of thrust in a manner not at odds with the Bible.
‘I was creating a cereal-based decoration, using traditional methods that God would approve of’, insisted Joseph Fisher, ‘but it was my turn to scrub the chickens, and I didn’t want to do it. To take up more time I added a couple of extra twists and a low-pressure bypass nozzle, and that’s when it span into life, using principles well beyond my comprehension.’
Posted: Jul 28th, 2012
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Explaining to reporters the airline’s ‘groundbreaking dam buster concept’, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary said:
‘We shall be employing in our aircraft the advanced technology used by the dam busters. We are ceasing to operate aircraft with fancy autopilots and the like.
Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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‘Customers with the No-M8s implant will be capable of remembering dates and talking to other ‘End users’ verbally as long as they are within range, all without the use of a handheld device.’
Posted: Feb 19th, 2012
More from Science/Technology
Apple has unveiled the latest generation of the popular iPhone mobile boasting a range of features new to mobile technology including a tape measure, an attachment that can remove stones from the hooves of lame horses and a novel set of toe clippers.
Posted: May 24th, 2011
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