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Posts Tagged ‘technology’

Grandmother in fear of iPad Christmas present

Grandmother Margaret Edwards has another thirty-six sleepless nights to endure before Christmas Day when she fears her family will be giving her an iPad as a Christmas present.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2013
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Television owners ‘getting more stupid’, say increasingly intelligent televisions

TVs getting really quite high-browSmart TVs have started to object to being purchased by what they call ‘dumb viewers’. At the third annual conference of the world’s most technologically advanced sentient televisions, a committee of the smartest sets on the market expressed intense concern that a high proportion of their viewers are getting less and less intelligent.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2013
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Microsoft buys Betamax

Microsoft has bought Betamax, hoping to steal a march on more successful rivals such as Apple and Samsung. Having dismissed the internet as ‘a passing fad’, and countered the threat of tablet computers by putting wheels on a PC, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, is keen to get the company back on track.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2013
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‘Modern Age’ forces closure of Homewares shop

‘I went in there once to buy a hammer and some nails and tried to pay by credit card. All he did was stare and look befuddled. Then he asked me, ‘What witchcraft is this?”

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2012
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Ryanair to launch ‘Dam Buster’ flights

Explaining to reporters the airline’s ‘groundbreaking dam buster concept’, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary said:

‘We shall be employing in our aircraft the advanced technology used by the dam busters. We are ceasing to operate aircraft with fancy autopilots and the like.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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