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Posts Tagged ‘technology’

Microsoft buys Betamax

Microsoft has bought Betamax, hoping to steal a march on more successful rivals such as Apple and Samsung. Having dismissed the internet as ‘a passing fad’, and countered the threat of tablet computers by putting wheels on a PC, Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, is keen to get the company back on track.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2013
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‘Modern Age’ forces closure of Homewares shop

‘I went in there once to buy a hammer and some nails and tried to pay by credit card. All he did was stare and look befuddled. Then he asked me, ‘What witchcraft is this?”

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2012
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Ryanair to launch ‘Dam Buster’ flights

Explaining to reporters the airline’s ‘groundbreaking dam buster concept’, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary said:

‘We shall be employing in our aircraft the advanced technology used by the dam busters. We are ceasing to operate aircraft with fancy autopilots and the like.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2012
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Nokia unveil N0-M8s; the world’s first ‘Smart Human’

completely hands free‘Customers with the No-M8s implant will be capable of remembering dates and talking to other ‘End users’ verbally as long as they are within range, all without the use of a handheld device.’

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2012
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‘Revolutionary’ new iPhone can remove stones from horses’ hooves

Apple has unveiled the latest generation of the popular iPhone mobile boasting a range of features new to mobile technology including a tape measure, an attachment that can remove stones from the hooves of lame horses and a novel set of toe clippers.

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Posted: May 24th, 2011
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