A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on ‘stony ground’, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His preferred invocation would be a cheque made out to ‘cash’ or Nectar-points of the Gods. [read...]
Jenny Pickering of London, 13, made a statement today when things in the house just got on her nerves a bit too much. ‘I’m definitely going out,’ she said. ‘I’m meeting up with a friend in two hours.’ [read...]
Nigel Adamson, 15, left his parents’ house to go ‘out’ yesterday, leaving them with the impression that he would be back ‘later’ after he had done ‘stuff’ with ‘friends’. [read...]
IT support call centres and high-street computer and telephone retailers today called on the government to radically improve the smirking, sneering, eye-rolling and ironic intonation abilities of Britain’s young people. [read...]
The entire teenage planet came to a complete standstill yesterday as the Snapchat ‘app’ stopped working for a couple of hours. Millions of young people around the globe were rendered totally helpless as their phones inexplicably refused to send or display stupid pictures of each other. [read...]
