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Posts Tagged ‘television’

Katie Hopkins to be crucified on Good Friday to redeem sins of mankind

forgive them for they know not what they do, but if they follow my 15 point plan...The Church of England’s first female bishop has confirmed that celebrity Antichrist Katie Hopkins is to be executed on the cross on Good Friday, April 3. Against the backdrop of yet another cosmologically inconsequential but newsworthy Twitter spat, the Right Reverend Libby Lane preached that this was humanity’s last chance to find eternal salvation.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2015
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TV first as ‘last time’ and ‘next time’ fill entire episode

much better than the other advertsProgramme consisted entirely of a summary of the story from the last programme and next.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
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Mary Berry begins filming gritty new spin-off show, ‘Baking Bad’

compulsive chewingBeloved pastry matriarch and national baking supremo Mary Berry is gearing up to swap her apron and eggs for a gas mask and concentrated methylamine this winter, after the BBC commissioned a gritty new primetime cookery spinoff competition to be titled ‘Baking Bad’.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2014
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Britain celebrates 60 glorious years in front of the television

60 years on, this new-fangled invention has liberated us from the need to interact with any other human being

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2014
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Booker Prize winner gives it all up for career in middle management

artistic perception of human frailties could come in really handyMulti-award winning novelist and screenwriter Kieran Henderson, who last year became the first author to win an Oscar for writing the screenplay to his own Booker-winning novel, has shocked the literary establishment by announcing that he is to put his pen away in order to create spreadsheets and do appraisals for people he hates.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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