‘What he wants to do is bare his soul on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories (although personally I’d rather be tortured in a prison cell in Jordan than talk to Piers Morgan) then try to move on. If Kerry Katona can get a second chance, surely anyone can.’
‘It’s proving a real gifting hit with mums and imams everywhere,’ said Mattel CEO, Robert Eckert. ‘We’re particularly proud of the pull-string martyrdom feature. One tug, up go the arms, and Blow-Up Barbie runs forward screaming either ‘Allahu Akbar!’ or ‘Visit mattel.com for exclusive Barbie games and accessories’ before detonating her bomb vest.’
Posted: Feb 7th, 2012
More from Faith, World News
The government put on a special homoerotic display of force in the capital this week, as boats loaded with heavily armed burly looking men roamed the waters of London. Sailing down the Thames with expensive looking weaponry, groups of professional psychopaths wanted to make an effort to reassure Daily Mail readers, as well as scare ‘anyone who looks foreign’, as a neurotic capital prepares to go fully hysterical about the prospect of terrorism during the Olympics.
Posted: Jan 20th, 2012
More from News In Brief
Christmas Round Robin writers may have learned mass demoralisation techniques that can be deployed any time of the year, security chiefs have warned.
Posted: Dec 31st, 2011
More from Lifestyle
A coalition of Taliban Leaders announced today their opposition to the ‘barbaric and inhuman’ regime of ‘Daily Mail Law’ and said they would be campaigning against its adoption in parts of Afghanistan.
Posted: Dec 16th, 2011
More from News In Brief
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