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Posts Tagged ‘terrorism’

Derbyshire cider maker arrested on terrorism charges

‘This was an especially monstrous demogration,’ he declared. ‘I was on my way to consult an oculist for my dyxlesia when I saw a huge sign demoting a terrorist group right in the arse of Derbyshire’s beer country. I drove into the terrorist camp, which was hidden in an orchard, and took the Mr Binladen into custody.’

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2014
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Islamic State ‘disappointed at UK fighters ability to wash dishes’

‘They’re lazy, want to stay in bed all day playing Call of Duty on their XBox consoles,’ he told reporters, ‘and what’s worse is that some of these twats have knocked me off the leader board,’ he added.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
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Suspicious bear found in Paddington Station destroyed by controlled explosion

Among the debris found was the remains of a marmalade sandwich, believed to be a possible ingredient in the terrorist’s chemical concoction.’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2014
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May in passport warning to supermarket fighters

Theresa May has issued a strong warning to British citizens travelling to foreign supermarkets to fight over discounted goods.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2014
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UK troops leave Afghanistan never to return, probably

The union flag was lowered at Camp Bastion and ceremoniously packed away, until it is required to be raised again at Camp Bastion by the next US President.

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
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