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Posts Tagged ‘terrorism’

Poshmerga forces take Harrogate. Declare balsamic law.

After a day of heavy fighting, the new middle-class terror group has proclaimed itself ruler of Harrogate, Ripon and Knaresborough. A ‘Poshmerga’ spokesperson, identified only as ‘Debbie from Marketing’ said they were now consolidating their position, but a column of Range Rovers was observed this afternoon, headed towards Skipton.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
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Dropping box-sets of ‘Fame’ on jihadists ‘last desperate throw of dice’ admits US

fame costs... and here's where you start payingThe Pentagon has revealed that US military planes have dropped box-sets of 80′s TV series ‘Fame’ in areas of Iraq currently controlled by Islamic militants. The move is seen as a daring attempt to soften the jihadist’s hard-line approach and move the fighting away from fundamentalist savagery to a more danced-based conflict.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Cameron raises terror threat level from ‘Boring’ to ‘Arms industry needs sales’

Some members of the public have found the whole process strangely reminiscent of ‘…pretty much every time a Government wants to justify going to war’. One déjà vu victim said: ‘It’s odd the things we are supposed to be scared of. The UK sells Weapons of Mass Destruction to the Middle East for decades – all is calm. Saddam Hussein pretends to have some – the shit hits the fan.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
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ISIS rebrand to IS ‘a great success’, as group vanishes from Google results

The well-known barbarian horde has declared today that the work of its image consultants in reimagining its brand has ‘exceeded all expectations’.

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2014
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