There were calls for Westminster bridge to be named after Phillip Schofield last night after he made an audacious crossing to show defiance to Islamic extremists. The television personality and housewives’ favourite crossed the bridge with no regard for his own safety. [read...]
Members of the public have been supporting the intelligence services with ideas about how to stop terrorism, according to MI5 Director General Andrew Parker.
‘Well, I love the pictures,’ he told reporters. [read...]
‘It’s important that this terrible event doesn’t change the way people behave,’ he said Barnes. ‘For me, that means staying in bed until Countdown comes on. I could get up early and go to my sociology lecture but that’s when the bastards know they’ve won’. [read...]
The terrorist responsible for the attack on Westminster has officially been identified as ‘a total and utter bell end’ by Scotland Yard. ‘We can also confirm that he’s used a string of aliases in recent years including useless-throbber, [read...]
Christmas Round Robin writers may have learned mass demoralisation techniques that can be deployed any time of the year, security chiefs have warned. [read...]