There were large sighs of relief today following news that security firm G4S have been put in charge of organising all of al-Qaeda’s terrorist activities for the 2012 Olympics.
Posted: Jul 26th, 2012
More from Sport
‘It’s a nightmare scenario really,’ said Theresa May. ‘We’re potentially looking at multiple chip-related security breaches. We’ve already intercepted one man of Middle-Eastern appearance trying to smuggle in a one-kilo bag of McCain Low Fat Oven Fries, so who knows what else is out there.’
Posted: Jul 13th, 2012
More from Sport
The Corsa is believed to be a last minute replacement for the MoD’s own anti-terrorist sonic weaponry ‘Project Twisted Firestarter.’ The multi-billion dollar collaboration between the Ministries of Defence and Sound is now running an estimated three years behind schedule and fifteen years behind musical trends.
Posted: May 14th, 2012
More from News In Brief
A new to-die-for range of incendiary panty line brief bombs threatens to fly off the shelves at outlets of the Taliban’s favourite shop, Martyrs and Spinsters.
The range of exploding underwear, a mixture of Semtex and wearable microfibres, promises to lift and separate martyrs like never before. ‘With these pants your buttocks will end up in different post codes,’ says one designer who worked on the new range, ‘and you’ll be lifted into paradise in no time.’
Posted: May 11th, 2012
More from Lifestyle
Newly released papers from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout reveal a leader living in fear of the ‘mad skillz’ of the US Navy SEALs and struggling to control an unruly network, the US military says.
Posted: May 10th, 2012
More from World News
Loading...