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Man wakes to find new Tesco in right ear
‘Obviously popping down the shops is a lot easier than it used to be’ [read...]
Tagged Tesco
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Sticky labels on crockery banned for being as annoying as fuck
Manufacturers of cups, plates, mugs and bottled goods have been banned from putting fiddly little sticky labels on their products that refuse to peel off, even if dipped in a bath of sulphuric acid. Said one consumer services spokesman: ‘Enough’s enough. [read...]
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iPhone 4S recall notice issued after Siri app develops attitude problem
Apple have been forced to recall thousands of units of the iPhone 4S after complaints from users that the Siri app had become unhelpful, rude, and in extreme cases, had called in anonymous tips about the phone’s owner to the anti-terrorist hotline. [read...]
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Dairy farmer discovers 60% of his cows are horses
Investigators looking into the ongoing horsemeat in beef products scandal believe they may have traced the cause of the problem to a short-sighted farmer in Tipperary who was found to have a significant percentage of horses in his herd of ‘cows’. [read...]
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48 trillion Nectar points to be put into the economy to boost recovery
‘This recovery package will stimulate growth and ensure no-one misses out on double points when they spend over a tenner on personal hygiene products.’ [read...]