Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions. [read...]
Retailers have announced their Christmas sales predictions today, revealing that Princess Anne has a ‘strong chance’ of reaching the festive top spot for December book sales with the launch of her debut cookbook, [read...]
Supermarket checkout workers have urged shoppers to stop using bags for life from other stores as they find it too upsetting. Susan Robertson, who has worked at Asda for more than ten years, said she had been reduced to tears at seeing Sainsbury’s and Morrisons bags used at her till. [read...]
Tesco supermarket has announced it will go into direct competition with Cooperative Funerals in a bid to corner the market in dead people. Tesco plan to follow the basic principle of ‘Stack ‘em high and sell ‘em cheap’ and will bury people in their car parks. [read...]
Violence erupted in the sleepy backwater of Trumpton last night following the announcement that the fire station would be closed and services provided by Fireman Sam Plc from CBBC. [read...]
