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Benedict Cumberbatch ‘magnificent’ as Bloke in Tesco
‘Magnificent, power-house performance’ at the Brent Cross Hendon Way Superstore [read...]
Tagged Tesco
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US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’
Starting with 12,000 troops leaving the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle [read...]
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Food banks to be deregulated by Conservatives
Food banks will be opened up to the free market in moves announced today. ‘We feel it’s fundamentally wrong that some central ‘expert’ – a priest, community leader, charity worker etc – should decide on the food supply available through food banks. [read...]
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Tesco to attract ‘better class of customer’ with Waitrose price-match
Tesco bosses have announced a new price-match promotion which they hope will attract a ‘better class of affluent customer’ into their stores. The price-match with Waitrose will guarantee that no equivalent product in Tesco is ever sold cheaper than Waitrose. [read...]
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Tesco daffodil incident ‘first stage of Backward Evolution’, warns science
Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions. [read...]