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Posts Tagged ‘Tesco’

US announces staged withdrawal from ‘spillage in aisle 14’

still considering pre-emptive strike on Lidl Starting with 12,000 troops leaving the Jams, Spreads, Preserves and Marmalades aisle

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2015
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Benedict Cumberbatch ‘magnificent’ as Bloke in Tesco

Benedict Cumberbatch has blown away the critics after a ‘magnificent, power-house performance’ at the Brent Cross Hendon Way Tesco Superstore in Cricklewood.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2015
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Food banks to be deregulated by Conservatives

Food banks will be opened up to the free market in moves announced today. ‘We feel it’s fundamentally wrong that some central ‘expert’ – a priest, community leader, charity worker etc – should decide on the food supply available through food banks. We want to set the food banks free to make their own decisions’, said David Cameron.

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Posted: May 9th, 2015
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Tesco to attract ‘better class of customer’ with Waitrose price-match

Tesco bosses have announced a new price-match promotion which they hope will attract a ‘better class of affluent customer’ into their stores. The price-match with Waitrose will guarantee that no equivalent product in Tesco is ever sold cheaper than Waitrose.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2015
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Tesco daffodil incident ‘first stage of Backward Evolution’, warns science

Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was given even more credence this week, after several Tesco shoppers were hospitalised after ingesting daffodil bulbs they assumed were onions.

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Posted: Feb 8th, 2015
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