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Posts Tagged ‘The Apprentice’

Alan Sugar ‘intake’ should be halved

Scientists have recommended cutting our media exposure to millionaires with their own reality TV show and love affair with an under-performing football team. Advisers on nutrition say that by exceeding our 5% of daily televisual Sugar, budding entrepreneurs will believe success comes with no overheads, no VAT and a ‘blagged’ interview with Claude Littner.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
More from Health

Britain fears it could be next as Lord Sugar tells Italy ‘You’re fired’

under the old rules, Italy would have walked it‘Britain, you downed 12 pints of lager, tried to start a fight with France and vomited on your shoes. You really need to up your game.’

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2014
More from From The Archives

Liberal Democrats ‘will be more like Apprentice contestants’, promises Clegg

"a bloody shambles"‘The Liberal Democrats are going to step up to the plate, give it 150 per cent, think outside the box and deliver incredible results.’

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Posted: Oct 15th, 2014
More from From The Archives

Katie Hopkins unveiled as the ‘Tories’ Doreen Lawrence’

A No.10 spokesmen said: ‘No one represents our belief in marital fidelity, business acumen and a classless society, more than Ms. Hopkins’.

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Apprentice 2014 to feature ‘authentic business treats’

‘These youngsters should experience the rewards of my early career: a hotel room that doesn’t always smell of cat’s piss, an evening in the company of a 30-something lady called Michelle who laughed at my every joke and a pay-to-hire Betamax that appeared on the hotel bill as ‘telex services’.’

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2013
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