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Posts Tagged ‘The Queen’

Queen demands pay rise as Rebekah Brooks trial ‘cost more than the Royal Family’

Following the revelation that the Rebekah Brooks trial cost £100m, compared with the £36m cost of the entire Royal Family, Her Majesty has today said that, ‘on the grounds of parity, we have submitted a demand for a pay rise, and we have decided to take industrial action forthwith in support of our claim’.

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2014
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1D-Day celebrations commemorate the death of music

if it wasn't for our brave boys, they'd be called 'Eine Richtung'Veterans, historians and girls with retainers are united today in marking 1D-Day a day of remembrance for ‘our boys’ struggle to overcome lacklustre hair, no musical ability and the Nazi occupation of France. Former groupies, internet trolls and serving members of the armed forces all paid their respect for the loss of melodies, the death of legible tattoos and remembered just how many ears had paid the ultimate sacrifice.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2014
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London woman told to take it even easier

An 88-year-old London woman who has been taking it easy for 88-years has been told by her doctors to take it even easier. The woman, who owns several properties where she often takes it easy, has also taken it easy in many Commonwealth countries.

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Posted: May 12th, 2014
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Vatican Guards find Pope rolling in the aisles

His Holiness Pope Francis was discovered in the early hours of this morning, rolling in the aisles of St Peter’s basilica. The alarm was raised after a nun, on a moonlit vigil, mistakenly heard what she thought to be a drunken vagrant, singing and laughing inside the locked church.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Royal Family finally granted Jennie Bond restraining order

'The name's Bond. Can I have a look in your bin...?'The Royal Family have said they can ‘finally rest easy’ today, after a judge officially granted them a Restraining Order against Royal-super fan and now confirmed stalker, Jennie Bond. The legal injunction, which prevents the 63-year-old from being within three-miles of any Royal residence, has been enforced ‘with immediate effect’, and will ensure that Bond will no longer be able to attend any Royal occasions under the guise of a BBC correspondent.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2013
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