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Posts Tagged ‘Theresa May’

Launch of Samantha Cameron swimwear range ‘not politically motivated’

The Conservative party has denied that the launch of a new range of revealing swimwear and lingerie by party leader David Cameron’s wife Samantha has been timed to coincide with the election.

Sami’s Cami’s were developed with fashion giant Karl Lagerfeld and include a 15-piece range of bikinis, thongs and teddies which accompanying adverts say will turn the Tory party into the Phwoarry Party.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2015
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Theresa May becomes internet porn phenomenon

Latest online viewing figures leaked by MI5 have revealed the unexpected emergence of Home Secretary Theresa May as the UK’s top sex symbol.

The phenomenon is thought to have arisen after the recent announcement by Ms May, wearing a provocative black outfit and red lipstick, of the new ‘Snooper’s Charter’ under which all online viewing will be monitored by the security services. It is understood that large numbers of middle aged men, the main users of online porn, started to become aroused by the thought that Theresa May was spying on their viewing habits.

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Posted: Nov 8th, 2015
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Hazel Blears found working as Theresa May tribute act

For the many disappointed people unable to get tickets to the sold out Tory conference, Hazel Blears is the next best thing. Despite standing down as an MP and largely being out of the public eye – her most popular move according to the polls – Blears claims to be able to perform a medley of May’s classic conference rants from 2010-2014 and ‘for cash in hand’ will recite her 2015 speech in full.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2015
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Government orders inquiry into why cover-up did not work

'Have they gone yet?' Why oh why oh why

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Posted: Jul 10th, 2015
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Mawkish floral tribute industry slams government’s plans to reduce violent crime

florists 'might struggle to survive' without senseless killingsThe Government has been forced to defend its new crime strategy after a barrage of criticism from the mawkish floral tribute industry.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2015
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