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May admits basing strategy on game shows
‘You’ve all already guessed that our Brexit strategy has been a two year long version of Deal or No Deal’ [read...]
Tagged Theresa May
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Eastenders loan-shark plot ‘a metaphor for BREXIT’, BBC admits.
The BBC has made the shock admission that the latest Eastenders plot line is just another tedious metaphor for BREXIT. This week the Taylor family matriarch saw a terrible decision of many months ago culminate in the possible loss of the family dog, [read...]
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“Someone has to stay and wave their willy”, says Gove
Following the resignations of several pro-Leave government ministers as the Government’s Brexit plans head for a meltdown, Environment Secretary Michael Gove has decided to remain in the cabinet to ‘wave his willy’. It was Gove’s wife, [read...]
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Tories to hold referendum on Maastricht treaty
In the spirit of their party strapline ‘Always looking backwards’, the Conservatives have finally agreed to table a motion in the House of Commons to hold a Referendum on the 1992 Maastricht Treaty. A government spokesman said: ‘We have so many old bastards banging on about “Why didn’t John Major hold Referendum, [read...]
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May promises ‘Full English Brexit’
The Prime Minister has warned that the EU is poised to launch compulsory coffee, croissants and dubious cold meats upon the unsuspecting British breakfast. In her conference speech, Mrs May alleged that Jean Claude Juncker is planning to impose strong coffee and in some cases threaten prosciutto or prosecution for breakfasts that do not comply with European Smoked Pork Regulations. [read...]