Prime Minister Theresa May has snapped up all the gaps between the triangles of chocolate in Toblerones, it has been revealed today. The news comes just weeks after manufacturer Mondelez International announced that it was reducing the distance between chunks of the distinctively shaped white confectionary and was reverting to its original shape. [read...]
Prime Minister May is to hold ‘intimate talks’ with French President Emmanuel Macron, while being forced to choose between love, economic union or a Brexit dividend of at least £50,000. Subsequently the delectable duo will test their physical and mental ability – which does not bode well for Mrs May. [read...]
Prime Minister Theresa May has successfully concluded Brexit negotiations on the first day that she took over them – but accidentally committed to remaining in the EU. ‘At first we were all slightly confused because she just kept repeating ‘Brexit means Brexit’, [read...]
The Prime Minister has opened a cage of flying monkeys and sent them to Europe to ‘sell Brexit’, giving them a wad of leaflets each. The monkeys have been told not to come home until they have delivered them all and not dumped them behind a hedge in Belgium. [read...]
It’s the end of term and MPs are looking forward to enjoying a nice break from the burden of public responsibility, apart from PM Theresa May, who has the job of taking home the Conservative Party ‘leadership hamster’, [read...]
