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Posts Tagged ‘Theresa May’

Post-conference bender leaves Osborne with ‘spider’s web’ face tattoo

A regrettable night on the razz to celebrate the end of the Conservative Party conference has left Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne sporting a massive spider’s web tattoo on his face.

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Posted: Oct 11th, 2012
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Lego launches new Coalition Cabinet minifigures range

The new Lego characters include ‘Culture Secretary Dude’, sporting a large Sky satellite dish on his head feeding directly into an earpiece.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2012
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Future Tory leader to be selected by participation in BBC TV’s Total Wipeout

In the wake of London Mayor Boris Johnson’s popularity boost amongst the voting public, following his 2 flags and a zip wire stunt at the 2012 Olympics, members of the Conservative party’s influential 1922 committee have agreed that in future the party leader will be selected through participation in an adapted version of the popular BBC TV show “Total Wipeout”.

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2012
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Home Secretary admits illegal chips may infiltrate Olympics

‘It’s a nightmare scenario really,’ said Theresa May. ‘We’re potentially looking at multiple chip-related security breaches. We’ve already intercepted one man of Middle-Eastern appearance trying to smuggle in a one-kilo bag of McCain Low Fat Oven Fries, so who knows what else is out there.’

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2012
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Prisoners to be released through new HMP Gift Shops

shoplifting actually encouragedIn a new effort to rebalance the public finances, Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that prisoners reaching the end of their sentence in UK jails will no longer be released straight onto the streets, but will instead leave prison through a new HM Prisons Gift Shop.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2012
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