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News In Brief
Cardiff complain to League that Palace knew in advance that they were shit
Abu Hamza unable to play hooky in US courtroom
Clark Kent accused of hacking Superman’s voicemail
Pistorius ‘held in contempt’ for rubbish Parker impressions
‘I thought Polonius was an intruder’ Hamlet tells prosecution
Alleged Islamic takeover of schools ‘can’t be worse than Gove’
Man living under a rock ‘bloody tired’ of Royal updates
Simon Cowell’s underpants set to rise 3ft by 2025
‘Dirty’ Fuel needs to be replaced with something ‘less smutty’ – insists UN
NHS resurrection performance slammed
US threatens Russia with more sanctions, starting with the export of Disney films
Welsh sheep ‘lack vision’ says damning report
The Verve accused of peddling inadequate flu-remedy
‘We’re better prepared for a nasty cold than ever’, says government
Nigel Evans MP: ‘Its been 11 months of hell and now my gay friends know I’m a Tory’
Gay marriage; Shellfish next abomination to be legalised
Auto-industry admits ‘only the unicycle’ is safe
Vampires lap-up Miller blood but remain unquenched
Camberwick Green Gazette: Windy Miller resigns from Council
Escape to the Continent to get second series, Putin to host
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