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Posts Tagged ‘time’

Greenwich admits using Essex man’s bowel movements for World Clock

Boffins at the Royal Observatory at Greenwich have revealed that they have never actually been able to get atomic clocks to work properly and have, for the last thirty years, been taking the standard for world time from the bowel movements of Billericay resident, James Watson.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2011
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Greenwich Mean Time becomes meaner in 2011 following Government cuts

cuts to last until 2015, or twenty five past eight, as it used to be knownAs the chimes of Big Ben rang out and the cheers of the crowds in Trafalgar Square heralded another New Year, the Government’s little publicised plan to reduce Greenwich Mean Time by 1 minute per hour came into immediate effect.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2011
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Cameron reminds UK public to turn the clock back ‘30 years’ this weekend

Mr Cameron will be sending a task force to regain control of Falkirk‘By Monday morning I confidently predict our entire country will be waking up to November 1st 1980,’ said Mr Cameron.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2010
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‘Time’ revealed to be nation’s biggest killer

‘People just don’t understand they are far more likely to be killed by time than by any other cause. We all worry about smoking, drinking, exploding, or even getting run over, but the statistics show that most of us will turn into dribbling, incontinent old farts.’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2010
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