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Posts Tagged ‘tooth fairy’

Tooth fairy moving onto kidneys

pound left under dialysis machineWith half of the UK’s eight-year-olds suffering from tooth decay, all gossamer-winged withdrawals will now focus on harvesting undamaged organs. Children can now expect to wake with significant surgical scarring in the abdominal area, problems filtering urine and a pound coin under their pillow ‘for their troubles’.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2015
More from Health

Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
More from Politics

Father Christmas bemoans zero hours contract

exclusivity deal means he can't work anywhere elsePopular present delivery service Father Christmas has called on the Government to do more to prevent the use of controversial zero hours contracts. ‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he explained, ‘it’s better than being unemployed, but I just have to wait around all year waiting for the call to say they’ve got some work for me. Did you know, I’ve only done 500 days work in the last 500 years? If it wasn’t for all the mince pies I can grab on Christmas Eve I don’t think I’d survive the year.’

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
More from World News

Children ‘to do their bit for recovery’ as tooth fairy money taxed

Business secretary Vince Cable announced that from September money paid to children by the tooth fairy will be means-tested and subject to tax.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2010
More from News In Brief

Tooth Fairy business plan ‘had major flaw’

‘Years ago, I would pay a sixpence for a child’s tooth. Now the price has gone through the roof’

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2008
More from Business