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Posts Tagged ‘top gear’

Count Dracula to present Top Gear, BBC announces

The BBC has announced that its search for a new Top Gear frontman is over. After a period of ‘thinking outside the coffin’, it has appointed Count Dracula as Jeremy Clarkson’s replacement on the grounds that the count, being dead already, need not worry about death threats and also bears a striking resemblance to Quentin Wilson.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2015
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Shit parking ‘OK’ with hazard lights says council

Nantwich fire fighters also took to Twitter to retract their initial frustration about not being able to get through to fight a fire at B&M’s, as they made the same error as the council in missing the lights. ‘We always except shit, life threatening parking, but only if the lights are flashing’.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
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Dick Dastardly in ‘despicable negotiations’ to present Top Gear

Twat, and Double Twat!Health and safety-flouting novelty rally driver Dick Dastardly is said to be locked in ‘despicable, underhand negotiations’ with BBC executives, for the post of chief host of flagship motoring show Top Gear, recently vacated by Jeremy Clarkson.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2015
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Met Office warns conditions right for perfect ‘Death of Laddism’ articles storm

The closure of a lad mag and the demise of a car programme could cause the conditions for a perfect media storm, warn the Met Office.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2015
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Blair named as Middle-England Peace Envoy in ongoing Clarkson row

determined to take the 'larks' out of ClarksonThe government confirmed today that Tony Blair is to take on the weighty responsibility as mediator in the Clarkson Crisis before the UK descends into all-out civil war.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2015
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