Officers investigating allegations of sexual abuse by notable figures from the 60s and 70s have concluded today that, the only man currently alive that’s ‘completely trustworthy’, is veteran TV and radio presenter, Des Lynam.
‘We investigated Des thoroughly, and amazingly, we found zilch’, said one anonymous Yewtree investigator today. ‘We rummaged through his bins, hacked into his computer and interrogated him in a hot room for six days straight, but the guy’s clean. We didn’t even find any evidence of any suspiciously long hugs. We’re now able to confirm that Des Lynam is currently the only celebrity over sixty still at liberty to appear on TV not wearing a pair of handcuffs with a jacket pulled over his head’.
Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
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