Mounting public anger over Britain’s burgeoning blame culture erupted into violence in Portsmouth yesterday, as a torch bearing mob identified a man who might be responsible. Kevin Simkins, who has a slight stammer and sometimes avoids eye contact with people he doesn’t know, was immediately identified by mob leader Kevin Morris as the ‘evil scumbag what started blame culture’.
After a fair trial, it was learned that Simkins doesn’t float when thrown in the village pond. An appeal using the ducking stool failed to exonorate the defendant. Though defence counsel for Simkins pleaded ‘leave ‘im Kevin, ‘es just not worf it’ – the prosecutors decided that the defendant would only understand one form of judicial process – or ‘Thing’ as it’s known in Portsmouth.
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Posted: Oct 5th, 2009
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