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Posts Tagged ‘tories’

Clegg ‘in tears’ after Cameron reveals truth about Santa

it's really going to hurt when he reaises Lib Dem voters don't exist eitherNick Clegg is reported to have fled the Cabinet Briefing Room in tears today following an ‘emotional’ and ‘frank’ discussion with David Cameron about Father Christmas.

‘I told Dave to stop,’ said Vince Cable, ‘but he seemed to be enjoying Nick’s discomfort a little too much. He had this sly little smile on his face. George Osborne was there too, warming his backside against the fire and throwing in snide comments about the Tooth Fairy.’

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2014
More from Politics



Disaffected UK extremists ‘may not be allowed to re-join the Conservative Party’

...won't be allowed abroad either, not that they would ever want to leave UKThe Prime Minister today announced a new raft of measures designed to combat the threat of Britons joining the shadowy extremist group UKIP, including removing the right of those individuals to later return to the Conservative Party.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2014
More from Politics, UK News



Fiona Woolf denies using feathery hat to deflect attention

'Wouldn't have buried her head in the sand'Fiona Woolf has denied using a special feathery hat to divert people’s attention from Home Office and Conservative Party embarrassment. Mrs Woolf stepped down from the chairmanship of the government cover up of child sex abuse after it was argued she ‘wasn’t an appropriate person’ to lead the whitewash.

But Mrs Woolf still maintains she had all the right credentials for leading a complex cover up into a sexual scandal that may have reached into the higher echelons of government, as well as having excellent contacts inside and outside Westminster, and a hat made of black ostrich feathers.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2014
More from Politics



Countdown to general election: the nation rejoices

The by-elections in Clacton and Heywood have led to bunting being put up and spontaneous dancing in the streets across the land as it finally dawned on the electorate that a general election is only months away.

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Cameron promises voters free ice-skating ‘when hell freezes over’

In his pre-election speech to the Tory Party Conference last week, David Cameron promised that all taxpayers would receive free ice-skating passes, just as soon as he and George Osborne had managed to engineer the freezing over of hell.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2014
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