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Posts Tagged ‘tories’

Samantha Cameron to renegotiate terms of her marriage, offer kids in/out vote

wants to be in with Dave, but not run by DaveAfter years of being dictated to by her seemingly unaccountable husband, Samantha Cameron has announced her intention to renegotiate the terms of her marriage and, if the talks go well, will then offer her children an ‘in/out’ referendum.

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2013
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Eric Pickles ‘beached’ in Torbay

Communities secretary Eric Pickles was this afternoon being cooled with buckets of seawater by Tory activists from the Torbay area who had heard of his distressed condition after being washed up onto the picturesque Oddicombe beach earlier today.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2012
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Why people hate me for being beautiful, by David Cameron

‘I’m a tall, well-spoken and handsome man with a confident demeanour. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being this beautiful.’

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2012
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Cameron assures nation Britain’s gaffe reserves are far from empty

Prime Minister David Cameron today attempted to pour water on Labour’s accusations that Britain’s gaffe reserves are at a dangerously low level after being depleted by the coalition at an unsustainable rate over the last few weeks.

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Posted: Apr 1st, 2012
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Missing episodes of ‘John Major’s Premiership’ rediscovered

compulsive viewing, oh yes!Science fiction fans have voiced their delight after two old episodes of John Major’s premiership were rediscovered in a negotiating room.

The two rediscovered episodes are from a 1991 story entitled ‘The Continental Menace’ and show Mr Major in the role of Prime Minister thwarting the evil European Commission on the planet Maastricht. The adventure was found unexpectedly during a clearout by a Mr Cameron of London, who did not initially realise the significance of what he had found.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2011
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