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Posts Tagged ‘tortoise’

Aesop’s children thought he was ‘a bit of a dick’

Aesop’s family have disowned him after what they describe as ‘years of mental abuse’.

Aesop’s daughter explained ‘Every bloody day was the same. You’d ask Dad for pocket money and he’d answer you with a story about a giraffe and a pig, or a lost frog, or something.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2015
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New research cast doubts on the story of the tortoise and the hare

Scientists at a West Midlands University have expressed doubts about the story of the tortoise and the hare, after reproducing the race under laboratory conditions. The researchers recruited a variety of species of tortoise and hare and raced them over distances from 10 metres up to 10 miles. In every single case the hare won and the tortoise had barely finished crossing the start line.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2014
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Growth forecast hit by octopus death

Chancellor George Osborne confirmed yesterday that that the death of Paul the Octopus, known for picking world cup winners, caused the treasury to revise growth forecasts downwards by a half of one percent.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2011
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Isle of Wight forgot to end minute’s silence

Embarassed council officials on the Isle of Wight are set to end a minute’s silence that began on 19 June 1897, after it emerged that Town Mayor Elijah Crood, the only man on the island to own a pocket watch, had fallen asleep before the end.

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2010
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