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Posts Tagged ‘TORTURE’

Tortured artist ‘didn’t produce any better art’, reveals torturer

A research study has concluded that contrary to the belief that great art is often born from intolerable mental suffering, deliberately torturing an artist can actually lead to a marked deterioration in the quality of their output.

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2015
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Greenpeace praises ISIS’s low carbon execution methods

‘While Greenpeace would not condone violence – unless it’s a climate change sceptic and there are no cameras present – we must single out ISIS for their commitment to low carbon outcomes,’ said Greenpeace’s business spokesperson, Susan Mueslini.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
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New US show ‘Guantanamo Baywatch’ criticised for simulated drowning

Snitchbatch‘They must have really slashed the stunts budget since the original Baywatch.’

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2015
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Stopping torture not yet on US’s New Year resolution list

Might take a run on 1st Jan to burn some fat insteadDespite years of promising to cut back on excessive water-boarding binges, the US is reluctant to add torture to its list of ‘Do Nots’ for 2015. Like most people in January, the CIA’s counter-terrorism unit was expected to give up on auditory abuse, sleep deprivation and chocolate. Current US resolutions include not employing Piers Morgan, not supporting affordable health care and not shooting black teenagers, although the last point is more of a guideline than a resolution.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2014
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Derbyshire cider maker arrested on terrorism charges

‘This was an especially monstrous demogration,’ he declared. ‘I was on my way to consult an oculist for my dyxlesia when I saw a huge sign demoting a terrorist group right in the arse of Derbyshire’s beer country. I drove into the terrorist camp, which was hidden in an orchard, and took the Mr Binladen into custody.’

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2014
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