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Posts Tagged ‘Transport for London’

South London trams to introduce ‘racism carriages’

‘The ‘White Is Right’ carriages will be at the rear of our trams and will include buffet cars selling cans of special brew, pregnancy test kits and signed photos of Nick Griffin.’

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2011
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Transport for London tackle commuter delays with designated suicide station

departing, Platform 3‘It’s really not fair that a few thoughtless ‘jumpers’ cause such disruption for so many,’ said a TfL spokesman. ‘From now on we’ll be asking the suicidal to travel to Amersham and wait in line for their turn. They’ll know it’s their moment in the headlights when they hear our special announcement – ‘Don’t mind the gap’.’

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2011
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Army budget cuts mean ‘cycle lanes to be deployed instead of armour’

Faced with budget cuts and the prospect of a resurgent Taliban with revenge attacks from Al-Qaeda, the British Army in Afghanistan has proposed an innovative and cheap way of protecting its soldiers – the immediate painting of green or blue cycle lanes across all strategic flashpoints in Helmand and Kandahar provinces.

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Posted: May 17th, 2011
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