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Posts Tagged ‘transport’

Speed cameras to be replaced by Eye of Sauron

The deal will save the cash-strapped agency over £250 million, while enabling it to cover every mile of motorway. And a recent test case has shown that that observation by a malign presence that can see everything simultaneously is admissible in court.

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
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Major delays for depressives after abyss closed for essential repairs

sufferers being re-routed via city of UtopiaHighways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform ‘essential maintenance work’.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2014
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Network Rail announce £37.5bn investment in replacement bus services

A £37.5bn plan to make rail travellers more comfortable by putting them all on buses has been announced by Network Rail. The plan will cover the five years up to 2019 and will see more trains than ever cancelled with passengers put on nice, comfy new buses instead.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2013
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Government unveils ‘unnecessary road sign ahead’ road sign

Motorists will no longer have to worry about whether to take notice of road signs, after the Government unveils plans to introduce ‘unnecessary road sign’ signs before pointless, irritating signs like ‘Flood’, ‘No giant windmills here’, ‘Thank you for driving carefully through our Village’ and ‘Slow down – children’.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2011
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Network Rail unveils plans for new high-speed Replacement Bus Service

The future of Britain’s railways was given a boost today after Network Rail unveiled ambitious plans for a high-speed Replacement Bus Service to link London with Birmingham and the north of England.

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Posted: Mar 22nd, 2010
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