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Posts Tagged ‘trial’

Vulgaria shocked at Child Catcher abuse allegations

why didn't anyone work it out sooner?Since the sudden death last week of Vulgaria’s much revered celebrity, The Child Catcher (real name Charles Catcher OVE), national mourning has turned to disbelief as newspapers have been inundated with revelations of serial child cruelty, sadism and even abduction.

‘We all thought the giant butterfly net to be just a cheeky affectation’, a villager said. ‘You would see him riding out of town with a new child harvest in the back of his wagon. Nobody minded because he was in showbiz.’

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment, Celebrity



Rolf Harris verdict: ‘Cook should resign,’ says Warne

Shane Warne has pulled no punches in his reaction to the Rolf Harris guilty verdict. ‘Alistair Cook has to go,’ said the frozen-faced Aussie. “Those last eight overs before tea last week were the worst captaincy I’ve seen in 150 years of watching cricket.’

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Posted: Jul 3rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Abu Hamza unable to play hooky in US courtroom

Islamist preacher Abu Hamza, born Mustafa Kamal Mustafa, has appeared at the US federal court in New York this week, minus his scary bits. Hamza lost his hands doing something that ‘went down a bomb in Afghanistan’ during the 1980s, however health and safety officials have ruled that he could not wear his trademark hook in court after concerns that he could ‘have someone’s eye out.’

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Pistorius ‘held in contempt’ for rubbish Parker impressions

In a dramatic legal twist today the trial of Oscar Pistorius was halted after the whole proceedings were judged to be ‘frankly taking the piss’.

The case was halted after Pistorius rather over-did the ‘Parker off Thunderbirds’ impressions that he had been coerced into as part of a plea bargain.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2014
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Rebekah Brooks to get off after ‘promise from government’

Rebekah Brooks case is tipped to collapse after revelations that the British Government had promised her in writing that she would not be prosecuted. Ms Brooks barrister, Jonathan Laidlaw claimed today that she had received an email from a member of the government of the day whose identity is being protected, but who is being described as ‘very orange and holding the highest office’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief