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Posts Tagged ‘trial’

Abu Hamza unable to play hooky in US courtroom

Islamist preacher Abu Hamza, born Mustafa Kamal Mustafa, has appeared at the US federal court in New York this week, minus his scary bits. Hamza lost his hands doing something that ‘went down a bomb in Afghanistan’ during the 1980s, however health and safety officials have ruled that he could not wear his trademark hook in court after concerns that he could ‘have someone’s eye out.’

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2014
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Pistorius ‘held in contempt’ for rubbish Parker impressions

In a dramatic legal twist today the trial of Oscar Pistorius was halted after the whole proceedings were judged to be ‘frankly taking the piss’.

The case was halted after Pistorius rather over-did the ‘Parker off Thunderbirds’ impressions that he had been coerced into as part of a plea bargain.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2014
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Rebekah Brooks to get off after ‘promise from government’

Rebekah Brooks case is tipped to collapse after revelations that the British Government had promised her in writing that she would not be prosecuted. Ms Brooks barrister, Jonathan Laidlaw claimed today that she had received an email from a member of the government of the day whose identity is being protected, but who is being described as ‘very orange and holding the highest office’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2014
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Phone hacking trial indirectly caused wine shortage

‘Our client wishes to maintain her innocence – and an alcoholic stupor,’ said Rebekah Brooks’s counsel. ‘A few bottles of a nice claret for medicinal purposes can give anyone the Dutch courage to ignore all ethical boundaries, urinate behind the butchers in Chipping Norton High Street and marry Ross Kemp.’

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2013
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Welsh man stabs cheating girlfriend then sings about it

it's not unusualThe prosecution has opened its case at Cardiff Crown Court in the trial of Thomas Jones for the murder by repeated stabbing of his former girlfriend Delilah Lloyd-Thomas, 44.

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2013
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